Meth Wreaks Havoc on Lives of Young Mothers and Their Kids (ABC News)

By LAURA MARQUEZ

March 3, 2006 — Kristi Stirens knew she always wanted to be a mom, but she never expected to be an unmarried mom living in a tiny bedroom in a rehab clinic. Kristi says she wanted to have a baby with somebody she loved, and if that wasn't possible, then at least she wanted to be with her family.

"The last place you want to be is in rehab," Kristi says. But that's where her son, Christopher, was born 6 weeks ago.

It wasn't supposed to be this way for the 33-year-old, who was raised by parents she describes as strict, with middle-class values. Kristi went to high school in upscale Orange County, Calif. After graduating, she tried methamphetamine, or crystal meth, for fun and because she was told it would give her an extra boost of energy. "It was like having 10 cups of coffee and not having the jitters," Kristi says.

But crystal meth is highly addictive, and Kristi says it was extremely easy to get. "It was like a guy offering to buy me a drink at the bar. That's how common it was."

After a decade hooked on meth, Kristi became pregnant three years ago. Knowing she was in no condition to raise a baby, she gave him up for adoption; she says it was the hardest decision she ever had to make.

"Every day, I tell myself that was a selfless things to do," she sobs. "It wasn't selfish, it was selfless. I wanted to give him every opportunity he deserved, and where I was in my life, I couldn't give that to him."

Losing her baby didn't make Kristi quit. She hadn't hit rock bottom yet. Last year, Kristi got pregnant again while still using. At first, she tried to hide her pregnancy because she says, "I was humiliated and ashamed. I didn't want people to know that I was pregnant and using."

She offers no excuses, only regret. "You don't intend on becoming pregnant. You don't intend on being an addict," Kristi says. "You think to yourself every day, 'How weak am I?' But that's the power of addiction, and it'll take me a long time to forgive myself for that, and I don't know if I ever will."

http://www.abcnews.go.com/Nightline/story?id=1801827&page=1